2020: A (Tough) Year in Review

     It's become a cliché now: 2020 sucks, worst year ever, whatever. And I definitely didn't escape unscathed. But through it all, we (you know, Stef, June and me) became wiser as a result. I think we'll probably spend the rest of our lives laughing (and crying) about this year. We've been incredibly lucky though, and I'm thankful for that. However, this blog post is going to be pretty negative at times, and that's just honesty. It's been a tough year for us, and it would be disingenuous to act otherwise.

    January and February were characterized by a growing stress and excitement about our April wedding. I also agreed to take point on almost everything endpoint security policy/compliance related at USAA, which turned out to be less fun and much more arduous than expected.

    And then March hit- Stef said in late December 2019 that the novel coronavirus would ruin our wedding. Not gonna lie, I thought she was being a little overdramatic. You know, in the way that someone with domain knowledge tends to be dramatic about potential catastrophes in their expertise (I think I told everyone WannaCry would end the world). And we all know what happened next. Everything stopped. I haven't been in an office since March 3rd. Time since then has simultaneously slowed to a crawl, and also accelerated to warp speed. Stef and I had more notable life events in the time between March and August than just about any other period in our lives. 

    We took initiative and rescheduled our wedding before things even started getting shut down.  Before Gobert got covid, and the whole United States changed. We sent out change the date notices to all 220 of our guests, for a December date we hoped would be better.

    One night, out on my nightly walk with June (our tiny but fierce blonde dog), she refused to take another step. She lifted her right back leg and was making circles as she refused to put weight on that leg. Eventually she fell over and whimpered. I didn't know what could be wrong. I called Stef, who drove and picked us up. By the time we were home, June was running just fine. I figured she was okay.

    But weeks later, Stef noticed swelling in her lower abdomen, and suspected it was a hernia. I thought it might just go away, but Stef insisted I immediately take her to the vet. June's normal vet took a look at her, and immediately sent me to the puppy ER because she suspected there was a foreign body in poor little Juniper's abdomen. They started to ask me if I had surgical tools, needles or sharp objects around my house. Obviously I do not. I took June to the emergency vet and the diagnosis was horrifying: she had a scalpel left in her abdomen from her spay surgery, almost 2 years before. Who knows how many times June had been in pain because of it. We knew she didn't like to be held unless you also kept her feet supported. She sometimes laid in strange positions.

    June had a successful surgery to remove the scalpel, and within a few weeks, she was back to herself. We were really lucky it wasn't worse. Our puppy is okay.

    In early June, I woke up feeling out of sorts. I did my best to power through it, going for a couple mile run at lunch (that nearly killed me) and going to work as usual. I was weak and nauseous. Food was unappealing. But I had a job interview that afternoon, so I told myself I'd take a rest after work, and the interview. That interview turned out to be one of the oddest I've ever experienced, but that's a topic for another post. The symptoms I was experiencing got worse. I threw up, and became nauseous to the point of serious discomfort. I got a telehealth appointment and got nausea meds prescribed for what they assumed was some sort of food poisoning, despite the fact that I hadn't eaten anywhere in days. 

    The symptoms continued. I felt nauseous all the time. I couldn't eat. I got covid tests, blood tests, urine tests, fecal tests, who knows what tests. My liver levels were high. Weeks passed, and my symptoms continued. I lost 25 pounds in a month. Finally, I was diagnosed with cyclospora, a single cell parasite. I completed a course of antibiotics and felt better again. But man, let me tell you, I will never eat Walmart salad again.

    In July, my grandpa died. He'd been trending worse for a long time, and it was his time. I count myself lucky to have spent as much time with him as I did. The last time I spoke with him on the phone, we chatted about the Lakers (as usual) and he gave me some life advice. He told me to play as much basketball as I can and work hard at what I enjoy doing. I think that's about as good advice as anyone has given me.

    Around August or September, Stef and I started talking about moving to Austin. I'd had a couple interviews with companies in Austin (specifically Amazon) that didn't work out, but Stef was interested in moving closer to home, and I wanted to go back to downtown life. We'd been talking about shaking up our life after our wedding for awhile. We took the plunge in November, and moved to Barton Springs, right by Zilker Park. It's beautiful and walkable, which is exactly what we were looking for. Both Stef and I got new jobs, with me starting at Citi, and her at a new surgery center not far from here.

    Just as we were thinking things were about to settle down, Stef got covid. I happened to be out of town visiting my buddy Ryan in Dallas, so we all had to get covid tested countless times to ensure I hadn't spread the virus. Stef and I had been pretty careful for about nine months, but at some point, you need to go to the doctor. And that's exactly how Stef got covid: in the waiting room for a long postponed trip to see the doc. 

    I ended up coming back home just to pick up June and get some essentials before going to an airbnb until Stef could test negative. My first airbnb was a wreck. As bad as you can really imagine for a place costing $100 a night. Broken stuff, spilled marijuana on the carpet, a single towel for my whole week there. I ended up moving to another spot after one night. Luckily, Stef's symptoms were relatively mild, and no one else in our life got sick. She tested negative and I was able to return home again after two weeks away.

    Somewhere in there, we had to cancel our wedding again. Although Texas currently allows large gatherings, we knew it was a bad idea to have even a moderately sized event. Stef has seen the horrors of covid as a nurse, and we care too much about our friends and family to force them to take health risks.

    To top it off, sitting here writing this on New Year's Eve, our Postmates driver has absconded with our sushi order. Which is definitely a metaphor for our 2020- slated to be fun and joyful, full of great events (our wedding, my brother Ian's wedding, my mom's 60th, too many things to list), but turned out to be quite challenging.

    Despite the challenges, there's been a lot of lessons learned and positives this year. 2020 had a way of reminding me how lucky I am. I've been fortunate to have people invested in my success at every phase of my life. I'm fortunate to be close with my family, even when I can't see them for months on end. Stef and I are lucky to have economic security this year. I have a career that resembles something I did for fun as a kid (tinkering with computers). It's been gratitude that helped me through this year.

    We learned a lot too. Here are just some of our lessons. If you have a reasonable safety net it's okay to take a chance, like moving cities and getting a new job. More important than any words in a contract is doing business with someone who shares values with you. Take care of your mental health (I'm so glad I established a relationship with a therapist before this year). Find a way to be thankful, even at a boring level. 

    Above all, don't eat salads from Walmart.